I have decided not to give a shit anymore.
I'm going to try and start a new slate; not on dA, I just mean life in general.
I know three things are certain:
* What people tell me I am:
Strong, determined, intelligent, stubborn, moody, impersonal.
* What I strive to be:
Strong, intelligent, motivated, someone that no one can push over.
* What I am:
Strong at times, not motivated enough, easily stressed, obsessive, emotional, moody.
I have spent the past few months feeling rather lonely and heartbroken - but why? Do they feel the same? I do not know. If nothing's going to happen, I need to keep going, I can't just give up and die [metaphorically speaking.] I can't wait around for nothing.
Next term? New slate, I don't give a fuck if I become more of a bitch in class, no one there's my friend anyway, who honestly cares. If someone gives me shit, they will pay for it. I am the only girl in my class and I'm sick of feeling angry every time I end up in class.
Fuck this, TAFE is highschool revisited, my only real motivation is to do well. Then, like I did the time before that, I can shove my success in their faces. I am sick to death of people telling me I have no purpose and the only people truly encouraging me are my parents.
Not only do I have to put up with being 'the homeschooled kid' at TAFE, it's also the 'lone girl' thing, and I'm sick of no one understanding.
I am going on holiday at the end of the year, there is without a doubt.
I can't keep living with these extreme anger issues, I don't want a heart problem early on in life.
With that said, this is just a rant. I am honestly content with myself, aside from a few... less than acceptable qualities. I also apologize for swearing, I really hate to, I am just so frustrated. I am going to enjoy the last week of holidays without feeling like this, I swear.