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June 5, 2011
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RE: Tekken movie - a fan's rage

Journal Entry: Sun Jun 5, 2011, 8:50 PM
:iconprojectcs:

KIRIBAN@ 99,999

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I watched it last night and it was barely watchable.

*The characters did not use their signature fighting styles
*They all looked like bad cosplayers
*The organization was called "Tekken"... instead of the "Mishima Zaibatsu," which held a TOURNAMENT called "Tekken" eg "The King of Iron Fist Tournament," ...to call the company itself Tekken is retarded
*It's like year 2036 for no reason (wut)
*Kazuya is a rapist for no reason that hits on everything with breasts (he's evil but COME ON WTF)
*Kazuya is also a massive derp with facial hair (ewewew)
*The future is bleak and coffee has become the new drug (so has oranges)
*The JACK robots were ninjas with fencing masks that spoke terrible Japanese - NO, THEY DID NOT DO THE COSSACK *sobsobsob*
*THE CHARACTERS ARE NOT CONNECTED AT ALL
*There was little to no explanation as to what other characters were doing there
*Eddie Gordo was decent, Christie Montiero was disgusting
*Heihachi's hair is all wrong
*The good part of the cast was cut out for no damn reason
*Somehow Steve Fox knew Jun Kazama, even though she died in Tekken 2 and he was in Tekken 4
*...Steve's hair is also wrong, but the actor played his part well
*WHERE THE FUCK IS LING XIAOYU AND WHY IS SHE REPLACED BY NAMELESS WOMAN AND CHRISTIE MONTIERO AS LOVE INTERESTS?!
*Why does Miguel look nothing like his sexy tank self from Tekken 6?
*SPOILER: Duragunov died for no reason... ACH

...and much more

PLEASE
GUISE
HELP ME MAKE A DECENT VIDEO GAME TO MOVIE ADAPTATION

I will write, design, direct, EVERYTHING
We can do a better job than these idiots, I assure you

FOR THE SAKE OF GOOD GAMES PLEASE ACH
/dead
- Hiku :heart:

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:iconsailorgrowlithe:
Well that cements that. I'm never watching that movie. I love Tekken with a firey passion, but NEVER will I watch fail movie adaptations. Just.. Yeech. *shudders* No thanks.

Also: HIKU LONG TIME NO SEE <3
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:iconantidepressantcandy:
AntiDepressantCandy Jun 8, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Nooooo, Kazuyaaa. He's my favourite character, and no, he doesn't give a damn about women, or men for that matter.
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:iconboomerangmouth:
boomerangmouth Jun 6, 2011  Professional Interface Designer
What about Bryan?!
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:iconhoovieslavsandvich:
Now I just wanna see this film to see how bad it fails. xD
I'm prolly going to cry xD
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:iconjellyshark:
I will help you make an awesome movie. C8
We should make this our goal. To make a really fucking good Tekken movie.

BUT YEAH UM what is it with videogame-to-movie movies sucking so bad? Honestly, the only good one out there EVER was the Prince of Persia. Prince of Persia was fucking excellent.

I might watch the Tekken movie to see how it stands on its own, from the perspective of someone who knows nothing about Tekken except that it's a fun fighting game. It will still probably be terrible, but it's worth a shot. C:
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:iconchibi-shinjiro:
I wanted to watch the Teken movie just to see how bad it was going to suck. Now I am scared.
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:iconsalamislim:
... A Jak and Daxter movie.
LET'S DO IT.
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